Intro Adventures

I really don't feel like writing this guide since these adventures were extremely simple (except for finishing the old man) so simply ask if you have any questions.

You walk out from the alley way behind the Toy Store to find thousands of men and women walking along, each with their own missions for the day. Some take their kids to school while others meet friends at the local coffee shop. What are you going to do on this dull overcast day?


Intro Adventures
Click the link below if you're interested in going through the Intro Adventure. If you do you will be locked out of certain areas of the game until you complete the adventures. There are rewards for playing through them.

It is possible to play through the entire set in one day, provided you have high enough stats and level.

> Play Intro Adventures


~Pictures~

Go to Duncans

You find the door to Duncan's place wide open.

********** Where's my box?

Duncan: The Old Man's got it, man.

********** Old Man?

Duncan: The Old Man runs this city. People say he's been homeless since he was a toddler. He's one tough bastard. The Old Man doesn't let just anyone sleep on the streets in his city.

********** ...You said you could help me?

Duncan: The Old Man wants you to prove yourself before he gives you your box back. I guess you could call me your coach.

********** So whaddo I do?

Duncan: Well first, I'm gonna give you something to help you out.

> Oh Cool! Free stuff! Gimme gimme!


Duncan: Here ya go. Don't blow em all in one place.

You get 5 Donator Days!

********** ...What are these?

Duncan: Being a Donator lets you recover Awake quicker, and gives other neat benefits. You can click the link below to get the full scoop on Donator benefits!

> See all the benefits you get as a Donator
> I'll check it out later. Let's get this show on the road.



Duncan: Alright, first off, go explore the city and come back with 20 Cans. You'll need $10 to buy a city map. You can withdraw cash from your Piggybank if you don't have enough on hand. Come back here once you've found enough cans!


Explore the city


Duncan: 20 cans! That was pretty easy, wasn't it? Here, I'll give you some cash for those. You can always take any spare cans over to the Can Depo if you need some dollars.

You lose 20 cans
You get $400!

Duncan: I've gone ahead and deposited the money directly into your piggybank. You'll wanna keep money you're not using in your piggybank. If you're alive, and somebody beats you in a fight, they'll get half of the cash you have on hand!

********** Those bastards!

Duncan: Tell me about it. You know what they say though, the best defense is a good offense. How about you take that money I put in your piggybank and go buy yourself a weapon with it from the Toy Store. Come back here when you're done.


Duncan: Ah, I see you've got your weapon equipped. Well, you're all ready for battle! Go start a fight with another hobo in the Hobo Meeting Area.

********** What if I lose?

Duncan: Don't worry. Just pick a fight and then come back here. Three important things to remember though about picking fights!

1. Attacking other players uses your Awake. When your Awake gets to zero you'll have to wait for more, so use it wisely!
2. You can't attack or be attacked if your Life is at zero. Go to the Hospital to recover from your injuries.
3. Remember to put your cash in your piggybank before attacking, in case you lose!


Start a fight then go back


Duncan: Well look at that, You're already winning fights! That's a good start, but you've still got some work to do.

********** I want to be an engine of death and destruction! Help me!

Duncan: Well, you can start out by raising your stats. Go to primary school and take some classes. Come back here once you've Raised any stat up to 5 or more.

Duncan: Ah, I see you've raised your Speed above 5. Very nice. You must be in a hurry to get ahead. Well, this should help you.

You get $500!

Duncan: Alright, you're progressing nicely! Let's see... It's time we got you a trolly so you can hold some food...

********** Food?

Duncan: Yeah. What, you're not hungry yet? Food restores some of your awake points. You can find it exploring the city, or buy it from WalMart, but you need a trolly first to put it in.

********** Where can I get a trolly?

Duncan: There's a trollyboy who hangs out outside the WalMart on the East Side of town. You shouldn't have too much trouble whooping his ass. Then you can take his trolly!


Duncan: I see you've taught that Trolly Boy a lesson. Excellent! You're tough enough to explore the rest of the East Side by now. How about you go take a look around and then come back here?


Duncan: Had a look around the East Side? Alright, The Old Man is impressed with your progress so far and would like to offer you this as a thank you.

You take the Hobo Stew and place it into your trolly.

********** Uhhh, what exactly is inside this... Are those newspaper clippings???

Duncan: Trust me, it's much more delicious than it looks. The Old Man is one of the best cooks around. There is one thing The Old Man is not the best at though.

********** What's that?

Duncan: Space Invaders. There's this kid that keeps beating his score at the Arcade on the East Side. The Old Man would appreciate it if you'd teach this kid a lesson for him, and erase his high score from the machine. You'll need to reach Level 5 before you can enter the Arcade though!


Arcade
You step inside the Arcade and hear the bleeping and blooping of various games. You spot the Space Invaders machine in a corner of the arcade. A rather portly looking kid is racking up points furiously. That must be the kid The Old Man wants you to take care of...

********** Hey kid! You're pretty good at that game.

Chubby Kid: Don't talk to me you dirty hobo! I'm trying to beat my old top score!

> Teach this kid some manners (5T)


Fight with Chubby Arcade Kid:You hit a button on your utility belt and a tranquilizing needle flies out and hits Chubby Arcade Kid in the butt! Chubby Arcade Kid's power, strength and speed are reduced by 5%!


1. You bitch slap the Chubby Arcade Kid for 1919 life (0 life)

Great success, you win!
Your Sting gained 4 exp (2943/5000)
You crush the Chubby Arcade Kid! Maybe you should hurry up and erase those scores before his parents get here...

> Step over the Chubby kid


The Chubby Kid has been knocked unconcious and is on the ground in front of the Space Invaders machine. You'd best erase those scores while he's out...


You reach behind the Space Invaders machine and pull the plug out of the wall. The screen goes black. You wait a second then plug it back in. The Space Invaders comes back on, the high scores all erased!

Success!

Duncan: Excellent work! The Old Man is quite pleased!

********** Then I presume he'll be giving me back my cardboard box now.

Duncan: Not yet, but he would like to give you this.

You take the Beggar's Bouillon and place it into your trolly.

********** More soup?

Duncan: Bouillon. This stuff is very special. If eaten it'll raise your begging stat.

********** Begging?

Duncan: Yeah. The Old Man isn't entirely convinced you've got what it takes to be a hobo in this city yet. It's about time you showed us your begging chops. Head on over to the Corner 7/11 to beg for cash. You'll need to hit Level 7 first though! Come back here when you've raised your begging stat above 3.


Duncan: Ah look at that, a budding beggar. Here, take this.

You get $1500!

********** Can I have some more?

Duncan: That's the spirit! Keep at it, and you'll soon be swimming in the pity cash! Now, why not gain a few more levels so you can access the High School?

********** Honestly, I'm still having trouble with some of the Primary School math. Plus I hear they don't have recess in High School...

Duncan: You'll need to reach Level 10 to access High School. Come back here after you've enrolled.


Duncan: Alright, you made it to High School! How are you liking it so far?

********** Me and some of the guys put firecrackers in one of the girl's toilets.

Duncan: ...That's... great. Look, The Old Man wants you to take care of something for him. There's a guy over at the Casino who owes the Old Man some money. The Old Man wants you to bust his kneecaps.

********** ...What?

Duncan: His name is Sven. Just go over there, tell him The Old Man sent you, break his legs, and then come back here.

********** I don't really feel comfortable with this...

Duncan: Oh yeah, you'll need to be Level 12 before you can enter the Casino.


Go to Casino and go to BlackJack


As you're walking over by the blackjack table you overhear someone at one of the tables.

Voice: Nice one Sven! Normally I'd call you a moron for hitting on 19, but-

You interrupt.

********** Excuse me, but you're Sven?

Sven turns towards you.

Sven: Vy Yes, My name iz Sven. How may I halp you?

********** Hey, nothing personal man, but The Old Man sent me, and I'm supposed to break your knees.

Sven: Oh, I is sorry, but I can not halp you!

Sven points down towards to his legs, which are both already in casts.

Sven: I vas in a bicycle accident you see.

********** Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. That must've really hurt!

Sven: Ja...

> How awkward...

********** Well, uh, if anybody asks, will you tell them I broke your knees?

Sven: Oh ja! No problem! Here, I vill halp you oot!

Sven pulls out a pen and scribbles something on a nearby cocktail napkin.

Sven: Vat iz your name?

**********: **********.

Sven finishes writing his note, and hands it to you.

You get the Note from Sven Note from Sven

You'll sometimes get special items. These can be viewed by clicking on your backpack icon


********** Thanks a lot Sven!

Sven: No problem! Have a güt day!

What a nice guy!


Duncan: So, you took care of things for The Old Man?

********** Yep! i even got him to write a note proving it!

Duncan: Well well! Good work! There's a Bouncer in the Alleyway beside the 7/11. Take that note to him. He'll know what to do with it.

You start to walk down the alleyway leading to the back of the 7/11 when a huge muscular bald guy steps in front of you, blocking your path.

Arena Guard: You got an Arena Pass?

********** Err, no... But Duncan told me to give you this.

You hand over the Note from Sven.

Arena Guard: Ah! The Old Man will be pleased to read this! Here is a reward for your troubles!

You get $2500!

Arena Guard: Alright, now take your money and get outta here!

> Get outta here!

Duncan: You're really moving up in the world man! You're almost ready to move on over to the West Side.

********** Am I almost ready to get my cardboard box back?

Duncan: One thing at a time, Buddy! For your next task you'll be doing a bit of Cart Racing over on Suicide Hill.

********** Cart Racing?

Duncan: Yeah man. Real Hobos know how to control a shopping cart. You'll need to be Level 15 before you can access Suicide Hill though.


Duncan: It seems like you're on your way to becoming a solid cart racer. Keep at it and you can earn tons of tokens, which means lots of cash.

********** Tight.

Duncan: I think it's time you started to explore the West Side of the City. Why not go have a look around then come back here?


Duncan: Had yourself a look around the West Side? Well then you've no doubt noticed the Pet Shop.

********** You mean the store with a bunch of metal cages and no pets?

Duncan: That's the one! Your next task is to get yourself a rat cage and catch a rat in it. You can find rats by exploring the city after you've bought a cage. Come back here when you're done.



Duncan: Hey, that's a pretty nice rat! Good job. Your rat will help you out in battles against other hobos.

********** Naturally.

Duncan: Hey, The Old Man would like to ask a favor of you. He's hosting a bad movie night behind the 7/11 tonight. I think they're watching The Love Guru.

********** Oh, c'mon! That's not even the good kinda bad movie!

Duncan: Anyway, he called in an order to the In-N-Out on the west side, and he wants you to pick it up and deliver it for him. The order has been paid in advance, so all you have to do is pick it up and deliver it.

********** Easy enough.


You get to the In-N-Out, but there's a huge line going out the entrance and around the block! Crap!

You peek through the front door and see a big order with The Old Man's name written on the bags. Hmm, if you don't get that order soon, it's gonna get cold... What do you do?

> Wait in line like everyone else
> Cut to the front of the line and pick up the order. Duncan said it was prepaid anyway.


You march through the front door and are about to reach the front counter when a big guy in samurai armor steps in front of you.

Samurai: No cutsies. Everybody waits their turn.

********** Look man, my order is ready and paid. I just need to grab it.

Samurai: No cutsies.

********** Oh c'mon!... Why are you dressed up as a samurai anyway?

Samurai: Back of the line buddy. Now.

> ...Go to the back of the line
> Attack him (1T) (must be alive)


Fight with Samurai:You hit a button on your utility belt and a tranquilizing needle flies out and hits Samurai in the butt! Samurai's power, strength and speed are reduced by 5%!


1. You do a matrix pelican attack and kick the Samurai taking 2009 life (0 life)

Great success, you win!
Your Sting gained 5 exp (2948/5000)
You crush the Samurai!

You cut in front of the Samurai and grab the In-N-Out order.

You get the Huge In-N-Out order Huge In-N-Out order


You start to walk down the alleyway leading to the back of the 7/11 when a huge muscular bald guy steps in front of you, blocking your path.

Arena Guard: Oh, it's you. Did you bring the In-N-Out order?

********** Got it right here.

You hand over the Huge In-n-Out Order

Arena Guard: Excellent! The Old Man will be very pleased. Here's a tip for your troubles.

You get $1500!

Arena Guard: Now piss off before I change my mind.

You decide to take your tip and get out of here.


Duncan: Nice work with that delivery job. The Old Man is starting to feel like you're a pretty reliable guy. You should be proud!

********** If he thinks so highly of me, perhaps he could find it in his heart to, oh I don't know... GIVE ME BACK MY CARDBOARD BOX ALREADY.

Duncan: Cardboard Box? ...Oh yeah! I forgot about that. Well anyway, The Old Man has a very important job, and he wants you to take care of it for him.

********** What is it now?

Duncan: The Old Man has a younger brother. People know him as The Young Man.

********** How creative.

Duncan: The Young Man has had a little run in with the law. Some asshole Governor took it upon himself to throw him in jail for life. The Old Man wants you to bust him out.

********** Uhhh, y'know, delivering burgers is one thing, but jailbreaks...

Duncan: Head over to The Big House on the West Side. You'll find The Young Man there. You'll have to figure out the rest yourself.

********** Uh, hi. I'm looking for The Young Man.

Guard: Oh that sicko? He's in one the cells here. I forget which one.


Click on The Young Man


You wander past the cells and see a young looking guy.

********** Are you The Young Man?

The Young Man: That's my name, don't wear it out.

That sounds like something a young guy would say. It must be him.

********** Look, I'm here to bust you outta this joint!

The Young Man: Oh great! I was wondering when Big Bro would send someone. So, how we gonna do this?

********** Uh... I was kinda hoping you had some ideas...

The Young Man: Ah geez... Look. I'm buddies with the punk who sells weapons outside the Toy Store. Go over there and tell him you'd like some Pie Filling. He'll know what you're talking about.

********** But I sure as hell won't...

Guard: Alright! Visiting time is over! Now get outta here!


You find the Punk Weapon dealer standing out in front of the Toy Store.

********** I'd like some FILLING for my PIE.

Punk: Get outta here you sick bastard.

********** No, listen! I'm friends with The Young Man. He sent me here.

Punk: OHHHHHH. PIE FILLING. Of course. It's gonna cost you $5000.

> Hand over the $5000


You fork over $5000.

You get the Hacksaw Hacksaw

Punk: There you go. Delicious delicious pie filling.


You use the hacksaw to saw off the top of your meat pie (bought at walmart), shove the hacksaw inside, then put the top back on. You so clever!

You get the Meat Pie with a Hacksaw in it Meat Pie with a Hacksaw in it


You jaunt right past the guard carrying the meat pie, and hand it through the prison bars to the Young Man.

The Young Man: Oh this looks delicious. Thanks man!

You walk out of the jail and wait to see what happens. A few minutes later you hear a guard yelling!

Guard: Hey! Come back here!

That's when you see The Young Man bolting out the front of the big house, holding the hacksaw, and being chased by one of the guards.

The Young Man: Woohoo! I'm free!

The Guard quickly gives up his pursuit, huffing and puffing.

Guard: Damn! I'll never catch him! He's too young!

Well, that was a success!


Duncan: Hey, good work busting The Old Man's brother out of jail. He just popped by here and left this. You might find it useful.

You take the hacksaw and stick it with your weapons.

The Hacksaw is a special weapon that gets more powerful the more you use it. Equip and battle with it to level it up!

Duncan: The Old man is quite pleased. He has asked me to tell you to speak with the bouncer behind the Corner 7/11.


You start to walk down the alleyway leading to the back of the 7/11 when a huge muscular bald guy steps in front of you, blocking your path.

Arena Guard: Oh, it's you. The Old Man is very happy with you for helping his brother escape prison. He'd like to invite you into his Arena.

********** About time! Sooo... what is this Arena anyway?

Arena Guard: The Arena is a place where various Hobos have gathered to do battle.

********** So how is this any different than the rest of the city?

Arena Guard: Look, do you want in or not?

********** I guess so.

Arena Guard: Then go find the Arena Pass and come back here. Arena Passes are hidden throughout the city in different places each day. Find one Exploring the City and then come back here.

> Go explore the City
> Get outta here


Old Man: So, you must be **********. You've done some great work for me so far.

********** Can I have my cardboard box back please?

Old Man: Box? Ohhhh yeah. Well! If you want your box back you'll have to prove yourself to me!

********** You know I helped bust your brother out of prison, right?

Old Man: Yes! That's a good start! But now you must prove your strength by defeating three of my arena members!

********** And then do I get my box back?

Old Man: ...We'll see.

> Time to whoop ass


Old Man: You are strong indeed. I have one more, highly important task for you. It will be far more dangerous than any you have so far faced. Are you certain you don't want to turn back now?

> I ain't afraid
> Something tells me I should turn back now


Old Man: Excellent! Now, I want you to go to Bernard's Mansion on the North Side of the City with this.

You get the Foul Smelling bag Foul Smelling bag

Old Man: I totally can't stand that fat pig Bernard. He's a real A-hole, you know?

********** Never met the guy.

Old Man: Well, trust me. He's a big fat dumb head. I want you take this bag up to the porch of his mansion, light it on fire, ring the doorbell, and bolt! Here:

You get the Single match and Match book Single match and Match book

Old Man: Come back here after you have finished this task. Right, off you go!


You walk up to Bernard's Mansion and find two rather intimidating guards blocking the front door. You'll have to take care of them before you can do anything...

> Attack em (5T)
> Bribe them ($10,000)
> Beg them to leave


Fight with Guard #1:You hit a button on your utility belt and a tranquilizing needle flies out and hits Guard #1 in the butt! Guard #1's power, strength and speed are reduced by 5%!


1. You pull off your sock and slap the Guard #1 with it for 1848 life (0 life)

Great success, you win!
Your Sting gained 5 exp (2966/5000)

Fight with Guard #2:You hit a button on your utility belt and a tranquilizing needle flies out and hits Guard #1 in the butt! Guard #1's power, strength and speed are reduced by 5%!
You hit a button on your utility belt and a net flies out, entangling your opponent and slowing them down! (Guard #2's speed is reduced by 10%)


1. You pick up a rock and hit the Guard #2 taking 1842 life (0 life)

Great success, you win!
Your Sting gained 4 exp (2970/5000)

You beat both the Guards to a pulp. They run off crying to the Hospital, leaving Bernard's Mansion completely unguarded!

Now to get down to business and light that bag on fire...


You VERY carefully strike the lone match and hold it under the foul smelling bag. It starts to go up in flames pretty quickly.

Man, that stinks! Better deposit this thing on Bernard's front step quick!

You get the Flaming bag of something awful Flaming bag of something awful


You place the Flaming Bag on Bernard's front step, ring the doorbell, then run and hide behind a bush! A minute later Bernard opens the front door.

Bernard: Yes who is it? Wait a minute... where are my guards? And what's that smell... What the...

Bernard notices the flaming bag on the ground and freaks out!

Bernard: Fire!

He begins to frantically stomp the bag with his foot!

Bernard: Oh darn it! It's all over my shoe now!

Well, mission accomplished. Better go report to the Old Man.


Old Man: Ooo ooo ooo did you do it? Did you do it?

********** Yep.

Old Man: Oh man! I would've loved to have seen the look on Bernard's face! Hahahaha hehehe hahaha woooooo

********** Can I have my cardboard box yet now?

Old Man: Hmmm... I will consider your request, if you can defeat me in battle!

********** Alright, let's go!

Old Man: Not so fast! You must work your way up the Arena Battle ladder before you get the privilege of fighting me, and it's gonna take a lot more training for you to do that!

********** Oh c'mon already...

Old Man: For all your trouble though, I have instructed Duncan to give you a nice little reward. Go visit him. We shan't see each other again until we meet on the field of battle. Until then, farewell!


Duncan: Congratulations! You've finished all the Old Man's tasks! You are now a fully certified Hobo!

********** Can I get my box back now?

Duncan: Box? What box? Anyway, as thanks for all your hard work, the Old Man has asked me to give you this Bus Pass!

Duncan: Oh... It seems you already have a bus pass... well... I'll just hold onto this then.

Duncan: Use that bus pass to take the bus to Second City, where adventure awaits!

********** Adventure?

Duncan: Yeah. Try answering the Payphone over there. You'll see. Anyway, now that you've unlocked all 4 areas of this city, you're eligible to compete in Sidewars.

********** Sidewars?

Duncan: Yeah. Just come back here any time if you'd like to find out more. Good luck!